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Forging a Healthy Marriage: A Quick Guide To Marriage Counseling

Marriage can be tough and it takes a lot of work to keep it together. That first year or even a few months of being engaged is the easiest part but once you’re married and the honeymoon is over. You tend to start to notice other things you didn’t see with your spouse. This is where it’s always good to ask friends and family what they see. If you are wanting to play it safe, cause they are the ones that are seeing it from outside of you and your spouse’s love bubble.

Another thing that will help is following the 3 P’s and they are patterns, partners, and particulars. A lack of communication can really hurt the marriage and that can cause quarrels and fights with both of you. Sadly these will happen when you and your spouse don’t get what both of you desire. Sadly even life can get into the way of your marriage and you won’t even know that both of you are drifting apart. You have to try to make time for each other.

The other thing is that you can’t prevent the drift. That it’s a natural thing and the trick is noticing when it happens before it gets too big for both of you to handle and knowing how to pull you both back in. Marriage therapists are there to help even though you may not like what you are hearing, it’s there to help. The marriage counselor is there to help bring both of you back together.

The best time to get marriage counseling is when you’re not in a real crisis. It’s great for when you’re going through a certain life event and it’s about strengthening certain parts of the relationship or supporting each other to help move through life together. Trying to find a good therapist for marriage counseling can be difficult. Just be prepared to dedicate a good bit of time. Now before you start looking, sit down and talk to your partner so you know what both are you are looking for in marriage counseling.

Try getting a referral by talking to friends, family members that you’re ok with knowing that both of you are having issues, and lastly you can reach out on social media. Now a good thing about these therapists is that they will tailor you and your spouse’s treatments based on the needs of both of you. They have 3 most common methods that they use and one is called the Gottman Method, the emotionally focused therapy or EFT, and then they have what’s called imago relationship therapy. Now with the Gottman method is to resolve conflicts and to help couples learn to manage them through positive communication.

EFT focuses on attachment bonds. It is having that emotional safety with your spouse. Then you have imago relationship therapy. It’s known as the familiar relationships. Meaning that your partner reminds you in some ways of your early caregivers. While you are looking and when you’re ready to start making phone calls ask what they specialize in, what their fees are, what’s their background, and do they take insurance. When you are able to find one but you or your partner doesn’t feel like it’s working out, talk to your therapist before you both decide to quit. Just know that not even the best therapist can save every relationship and some couples come to therapy not sure if they want their relationship to be saved. When you do go always set goals that you and your spouse want to concur.

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